Who Even Are You? Facebook Friend Request Etiquette
Who are you people?
Over the past couple months, I’ve been getting friend requests on my Facebook profile left and right from total strangers. You may not think you’re a total stranger if you follow me on Twitter or if we have 28 mutual friends, but I have no idea who you are. If we’ve never spoken or if there is no evidence that I know you, you’re a stranger, plain and simple.
And here’s the thing: I might want to be your friend. In fact, I probably do want to be your friend. But when you request my friendship without saying how you know me, anything about a mutual contact, why you think we should connect, etc., you just look like a sketchball. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s true.
Look, it takes one minute to write a little message that attaches with a friend request. If you want to be my Facebook friend (or ANYONE’s Facebook friend–this is etiquette that should be universal) spend 60 seconds saying why. However, there’s a right and a wrong way to approach this.
Examples of appropriate messages:
- Hi Amanda, I follow you on Twitter and wanted to connect on Facebook, too.
- Hey Amanda, we met at a Tweetup in Boston. It was great meeting you in person–Facebook friendship is the next logical step, right?
- Hi, I’m Friendston McFriendinator. Small world–I work with Friendiana Friendelton and she told me you’ve been buds since you were kids. She said you’re a good person to know.
- Hi Amanda, I subscribe to Social Honeycomb and think your blog is rad. Wanna be friends?
Examples of inappropriate messages:
- hi your hot LOL
- I tried poking you but you didn’t poke me back. Can we be friends now????!?!?!!
- I’m visiting Boston next month and you looked like someone who knows how to have fun, if you know what I mean…
- Hi, you said on your blog I had to do this or you wouldn’t accept my friend request. So, yeah.
You may think I’m being facetious but people really send idiotic, vapid stuff like that^.
Or worse, nothing at all.
And I’ll be transparent: I’m guilty of not saying anything with friend requests to people I don’t personally know sometimes, too. Usually it’s with someone who’s a “twelebrity” or something totally absurd and stupid to say like that, but I’m going to make sure I take my own advice from now on in all friending situations. Please, please take my advice, too.
If you’re the type of guy person who sends blank friend requests to girls people you don’t really know, take a minute and ask, “Do I want her to think I’m a sketchball?” Hopefully the answer is “NO” and you’ll send a qualifying message with that “Add to friends” clickety click.
