Social Honeycomb

The Facebook 3-Strike Rule

I’ve blogged about Facebook etiquette before, and have since gotten a bit lax with my denial of random would-be friends who don’t give me any reason to know who they are or why we should be connected.  Well, my laziness has come back to bite me in the tush, so I’m putting a stop to it and introducing the Facebook 3-Strike Rule.  With me?

Lately on my Facebook account – and I know I’m not alone – I’ve been getting tons of requests to join this cause that has nothing to do with me or my life experience, to be a fan of that brand I’ve never heard of, or to attend an event for some acoustic guitar performance in a town 500 miles away put on by some guy who knew a girl I may have taken a class with my junior year of high school…  No thank you, ladies and gentlemen.  Facebook enemies “friends“ who engage in this kind of Fb invite spam: cut the crap, please.

And to help with the crap cutting, here’s what I propose.  If you invite me to join your page, group, game, app, quiz, etc., three times (um, clearly I rejected the first two invitations, genius, and I’m not interested), I’ll be de-friending you, plain and simple.  And the thing is, we likely don’t know each other at all anyway, so I probably shouldn’t have been Facebook friends with you in the first place.

If you’re reading this, I encourage everyone to enforce the Facebook 3-Strike Rule with me.  There are enough annoying things in everybody’s day, so come on, I really do not need to log into Facebook to see yet another invitation to the Oh Nuts! fan page that has no relevance to me – and if it for some reason does, I couldn’t see it because the sender gave zero context.

When it comes to Facebook, always remember:

• Be polite
• Respect people’s Facebook pages
• Do not blindly invite your friend list to be a fan of your project
• Friend-request people with whom you have a reason to connect

What do you guys think?  Helpful rule?

Just Say No?

It’s all about conversation these days, but that’s a two-way street.  And I know it can be tough.

As PR people, we strive to do our homework; we investigate what you’ve been writing, we craft a pitch we think will catch your attention and have relevance to your readers. We understand that sometimes you get too many emails to really read each one, we know that there are days when you’re super busy.  But if and when you do get a chance to check out our emails, and you see something that just doesn’t fit with what you’re doing, what stops you from just saying no?  In the long run, it’ll help us help you, and it’ll save your inbox from extra notes that you’d rather not get.

Is this unreasonable?  Is it a nice idea but just too far-fetched?  What would make it easier for media folks to just say no when the pitch doesn’t quite work?

Who Even Are You? Facebook Friend Request Etiquette

Who are you people?

Over the past couple months, I’ve been getting friend requests on my Facebook profile left and right from total strangers. You may not think you’re a total stranger if you follow me on Twitter or if we have 28 mutual friends, but I have no idea who you are. If we’ve never spoken or if there is no evidence that I know you, you’re a stranger, plain and simple.

And here’s the thing: I might want to be your friend. In fact, I probably do want to be your friend. But when you request my friendship without saying how you know me, anything about a mutual contact, why you think we should connect, etc., you just look like a sketchball. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s true.

Look, it takes one minute to write a little message that attaches with a friend request. If you want to be my Facebook friend (or ANYONE’s Facebook friend–this is etiquette that should be universal) spend 60 seconds saying why. However, there’s a right and a wrong way to approach this.

Examples of appropriate messages:

• Hi Amanda, I follow you on Twitter and wanted to connect on Facebook, too.
• Hey Amanda, we met at a Tweetup in Boston. It was great meeting you in person–Facebook friendship is the next logical step, right?
• Hi, I’m Friendston McFriendinator. Small world–I work with Friendiana Friendelton and she told me you’ve been buds since you were kids. She said you’re a good person to know.
• Hi Amanda, I subscribe to Social Honeycomb and think your blog is rad. Wanna be friends?

Examples of inappropriate messages:

• hi your hot LOL
• I tried poking you but you didn’t poke me back. Can we be friends now????!?!?!!
• I’m visiting Boston next month and you looked like someone who knows how to have fun, if you know what I mean…
• Hi, you said on your blog I had to do this or you wouldn’t accept my friend request. So, yeah.

You may think I’m being facetious but people really send idiotic, vapid stuff like that^.

Or worse, nothing at all.

And I’ll be transparent: I’m guilty of not saying anything with friend requests to people I don’t personally know sometimes, too. Usually it’s with someone who’s a “twelebrity” or something totally absurd and stupid to say like that, but I’m going to make sure I take my own advice from now on in all friending situations. Please, please take my advice, too.

If you’re the type of guy person who sends blank friend requests to girls people you don’t really know, take a minute and ask, “Do I want her to think I’m a sketchball?” Hopefully the answer is “NO” and you’ll send a qualifying message with that “Add to friends” clickety click.