Social Honeycomb

Social Media Vocab: Friend

The word “friend” is thrown around a lot in the socnet space. What is interesting to me is that the new definitions sites like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter are creating seem to be spilling over into everyday life (yes, outside of social networks). Variations like “de-friend” “friend me!” and “friend request” aren’t just buzzwords on social sites–I hear them spoken aloud all the time. It’s strange. I mean, since when do you meet someone and formally request her friendship? It’s not like a proposal or something. Oh yeah, before you request my friendship, maybe you should ask my dad for permission first… So, so weird. In my opinion, the definition of “friend” has undeniably and permanently changed.

Tonight I deleted 90 “friends” from my Facebook network. I was at 1,097 friends. In my opinion, that’s pretty absurd. I don’t have that many friends! A lot of the people in my Facebook network are acquaintances, friends of friends, classmates, teammates, colleagues, family members, exes… MOST of those 1,000-something people aren’t even my friends in the traditional sense of the word. But the meaning of the word “friend” has changed, so if we met once at a party or worked on a project in class sophomore year and are connected on Facebook, I guess we’re friends. Weird, huh?

Earlier this evening, I asked my Twitter network to define the word friend. Below is a screen shot of the results:

These are some pretty good definitions, I think. But I’m not sure what a friend REALLY is anymore–all I know is that the word “friend” has been distorted because of social networks and it is often used in ways that do not reflect what we all grew up believing friendship to mean. It’s not a bad thing, necessarily–just different meanings for an old word.

Are we friends?

Now it’s your turn to take a stab at it. Give me your definition.

Boston Tweetups + Security Conferences = Fun

Last night I had the pleasure of attending another Tweetup here in Beantown. Ah, I love me a good Tweetup. The night, which started at Fajitas & Ritas and led us to FELT and Good Life’s Vodka Bar, was full of great conversation, new friends and footage captured on Alexa Scordato‘s MacBook Pro (coming soon).

There’s something about the people who use Twitter that inspires a fun, electric energy at meetup events. It seems there’s never a dull moment, and I always end up learning new things. At this particular Tweetup, I met Jennifer Leggio (@mediaphyter), Raffael Marty (@zrlram), Dmitri Gunn (@dmitrigunn), Adam and Sophy O’Donnell, Kee Hinckley and a bunch of other movers and shakers in the security industry who were in town for the SOURCE Boston conference.

Topics of conversation ranged from security compliance standards (how cool is it that I got to bring up SOX and PCI outside of work?!), to what, if anything, can or should be done to correct malicious online behavior among teens and college students, to glitter MySpace layouts, to Danny, the door guy at Good Life, being a seriously cool dude.

Thank you to Bryan Person and Joe C for being cool cats and making the night awesome.

Next weekend–get ready.

A PR Girl Gets Ink(ed), or Amanda Goes to the Tattoo Parlor

As you may have seen on Twitter or heard on Utterz, I got a tattoo today. Behold:

Since people had been wrinkling noses at and asking questions about my tat before I got it, I wanted to take this opportunity to explain what it means to me. My first one (the letter A on my left foot) never required a lengthy explanation, but this one seems to baffle people. And honestly, I don’t want to have to explain the meaning of my tattoo a billion times, so if you ask me about it in real life, I’ll probably just direct you to this post instead of actually telling you. Sah-reez, yo.

Let’s discuss.

So, back in November, Chris Brogan tagged me at Jeff Pulver‘s Boston Real-time Social Networking party with a tiny sticker on my shoulder. I looked down, and it said “The Future” on it. I remember thinking, “Wow, that is not only the coolest compliment I’ve ever received, but it’s a really excellent perspective-framing concept.” Sure, it was just a couple of words on a sticker, but the more I thought about it, the more it struck me in a few different ways and influenced the tattoo I got today:

We spend so much time quick-sanding in our past and swamped in our present–we don’t dream enough. We don’t imagine ourselves, our lives, the world around us how we really hope things will be in the future. We don’t have time for that crap, right? Well, since 2008 began, I’ve been trying to take that step back so I can look forward and visualize things the way I want them to be. That’s half the battle anyway. I don’t think of myself as all that optimistic or Pollyanna in my general outlook, but taking a few minutes each day or a couple times a week to remind myself that there is a future that’s going to happen so I better do what I can to make it look the way I want, is really good for me. I recommend trying it. My tattoo is a reminder to acknowledge that the future is inevitably and continually about to happen, so I should prepare for and influence it as best I can to achieve the outcomes I desire of it.

I’m not gonna lie–I like to think of myself as the future. I’m young, so I’m still allowed to believe that I’m going to have a great life and do some good things along the way. My peers and I have been called the “entitlement generation” and it’s often said that we’re overconfident and expect too much. Of course I’m biased, but I think our drive and unwillingness to settle make us poised to turn the future into a pretty awesome place. (And please don’t forget that we learned our behaviors and perspectives from our parents, teachers and other socializing agents when we were young. We aren’t pulling our uncompromising views out of nowhere–the adults who molded us as children helped form these traits that drive us toward our respective futures.) So, say what you will about me and my generation, but I really am the future. My tattoo is a reminder to demand and create the future I hope for and expect in myself and the world around me.

Part of incorporating the perspective frame of “the future” into my identity is the sense that it’s not just about me. In my idea of the future, there are a lot of other people with me who need to get from this point A to that point B, too. Part of my “job” as an agent for future-shaping is helping the people around me to achieve their goals and wants as well. Life would be less rich if the people I know and love weren’t part of my future with me. My tattoo is a reminder to help others along the way as we each move toward our own futures that are undeniably strengthened by our collective, connected success.

As my Grade-A new friend Alexa Scordato pointed out today, “The placement of your tattoo is perfect. It shows that your feet are always headed in the right direction… the future.” So, come to the future with me. It’ll be good.

Thank you to Stingray Body Art in Boston for putting up with my squeamish tendencies and for creating this tattoo for me. Extra special thanks to my artist Nate Stevens for being completely adorable and talented, and to Brenda Wynne for being hilarious and making my friend’s tattoo beautiful.

Also, Mom and Dad, you probably thought I was kidding and/or I wouldn’t get this tattoo after Mom called me a dope, but I hope that after reading this you don’t mind too much. You’re part of my future too. Love you.

What’s That? Oh, Nothing…

A little creativity presented in the right way really rocks my socks. While so many of us are trying to figure out how to leverage Twitter as a business tool or how to add measurable value to the tweetversation, Dave Delaney and Tim Coyne are taking it in a different direction.

I’ve listened to the hilarity on the Nothing Show before, so when I found out I was being included in an episode (with Veronica Belmont, no less!), I was hopelessly excited. What’s the Nothing Show? Dave and Tim each choose a Twitterer to portray and then pick random tweets to turn into a silly conversation that essentially is about nothing.

Twitter is obviously a useful tool for a lot of us, but it can be a source of humor and light-hearted fun, too. Thanks to Dave and Tim for including me in the Nothing Show–so flattered and still giggling.

@Twitter, Thanks for the Tee

Thanks, Biz Stone, for sending me a cool Twitter tee. I’ll definitely be seen out and about in Boston wearing it. Thank you for improving my wardrobe.

wearing my twitter shirt

Will Twitter Respond?

So, I got some really nice responses from my social media buddies about my Halloween costume.  Chris Penn took it one step further, though, suggesting that I ask Twitter to replace the little blue bird with one of my photos and a “bring that beat back!” type of message.

I emailed pr[at]twitter.com yesterday and haven’t gotten a response, but I’m holding on to the hope that I could someday be that little bird, telling everyone that Twitter is going to be OK.  A girl can dream…

If you want me as your new Twitter bird, maybe you could drop them an email, too.  Either way, it’s a fun thought.  While you’re at it, tell Johnny Cupcakes to sponsor Julia Roy as well.  The girl needs a new tee.

This One Time, I Was Twitter for Halloween…

Dear Everyone,

Hope you had a great Halloween 2007!

With love,

The Twitter Bird